Avirtuouswoman's Blog

I’m still on track even though I haven’t posted in a while.  I’m still as determined as in the beginning. I’m beginning to notice some things that I had not thought about. The loose skin.  Even my hands are starting to wrinkle.  Since I have no ambition to save up for a tummy tuck, I’ll have to find a way to live with the sags  & bags.  Now the lumps & bumps, that’s a different story.  Not that I know how to make them go away, and I’m not sure they will ever go away.  They all seem to be heading south!  What used to be “love handles” have moved from their place of origin and sloooowly slid down my anatomy. Obviously, I was never versed in physiology, and can only report my observations as I understand them.  At my age, it’s not a really big deal. My bikini days are far behind me (no pun intended).  Especially since they only existed in my imagination. Onward and upward (and downward as it were).  This is a good day. Weight loss is a good thing!

Eph 5:18  Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you.
19  Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts.
20  And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I am so grateful today for my faith in the hope of Glory, even Christ the Lord.  This journey of a 100lb weight loss would have been impossible without my “faith”.  I’m including not only my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, but the fervent, effectual prayers of those who support me on this journey.  The times that my knees buckled, somebody prayed for me.  The times that I was tempted to go off the program, somebody, somewhere prayed for me and I felt strength returning. The times that I was woozy, couldn’t think rationally, sweating profusely one minute followed by  bone chilling sensations – somebody, somewhere prayed for me and my medication was adjusted because I was no longer a slave to erratic blood sugar levels. And when I got angry or disappointed or just plain discouraged – I had this venue to express my feelings (and mood) – relieving the pressure so that I didn’t give up.  Somebody, somewhere was praying for me.  I don’t know if you’ll ever know how much I appreciate you, but on this Thanksgving eve, I want to thank you.

I am so psyched today. I reached one of my primary goals, which is to ELIMINATE the meds that I take for HBP,  High Cholestrol, and diabetes.  I do not, and will not claim to be a diabetic.  I believe that when you make a statement such as “I am …….” you own whatever condition you lay claim to.  Yes, I was obese, and stating that upfront helped strengthen my commitment to this weight loss journey.  As to the diabetes, the good news is that my doctor decreased my daily dosage.  That is just the beginning of the downward trek to being controlled by extraneous medication.  Don’t get me wrong. I am so very grateful to live in a country where I can have access to such things that contribute to maintaining a quality of life.  However, having access to and being controlled by are two different things. I’m happy!

There are many steps on the road when one begins the weight loss journey.  This particular journey for AVirtuousWoman started at “impossible”.  The Apostle Peter and comrades started out from this same point – “impossible”.  The Master said “Come”.  Everyone in the boat heard the invitation. However, only impulsive, impetuous Peter responded.  Only Peter took that first step out of the boat labeled “impossible”.  And he did well, for a while.  As long as he kept his eyes on the Master as his goal, Peter walked on water.  He had conquered the “impossible”.  As so often happens in life, Peter looked away from the goal and considered the choppy seas of doubt, discouragement, past failures, financial woes, an uncertain future, distrust, an initial determination eroded by negative experiences — just to name a few of the challenges to this impossible task.

Well now, that was a cheerful thought! It’s fairly easy to see why there can be many steps between “impossible” and “incredible”. The number of steps is adjustable by meeting those challenges head on, kicking them in the butt and taking no prisoners. The goal is just ahead, on the horizon. It’s not easy to see from this position, but I know that it’s there and that will to serve as the impetus that propels me forward.

No profound thoughts today.  But it is important that I push myself to post on a regular basis.  I seem to have a habit of starting a project with a bang, and then taper off in enthusiasm when other “stuff” demands my attention.  This journey to my 100 lb weight loss will NOT be abandoned.  Also, I’ve entered a new category.  That is worth celebrating and worth posting on my blog.  Profundity is not the cornerstone of my existence.  And it certainly is not my motivator.  I like the “rush” of profundity, not it doesn’t seem to have much of a shelf life – that  day-to-day life that holds a multitude of challenges and opportunities.

I have not yet identified my reward for entering a new category.  I will….maybe tomorrow, maybe tonight when I shut down to rest.

Time to celebrate.  I’ve concluded that the times between celebrations is getting longer and longer.  I’m determined not to let discouragement become a burden on my journey to the 100 lb weight loss. Wisdom tells me to re-assess my goals. Oh no – I’m not changing the ultimate goal, but I am setting some new,  more frequently attainable  goals.  Ergo – I’m setting a goal for 5 lbs loss and something I call – a new category.  From Weight Watchers, I learned about categories.  When the middle digit of your weight odometer changed, that’s a new category.  “Back in the Day” when I joined Weight Watchers for the first time,  everyone celebrated a person moving into a new category.  It was a time of jubilation and inspiration.  So, I’m just waiting for that odometer to click over – even 1/2 lb will do it.  And my long range goal is to complete this portion of the journey with Medifast, and then re-join WW for the last lap.  Look out!!! WW I’m coming to join you, honey.  Be Blessed today. God loves you.

When David faced Goliath,  he proved that size does matter.  Obviously, I’m not referring to physical size – Goliath stood some 9 feet tall and David was a handsome, but somewhat scrawny 16 year old (approximate figures).  What was large and in charge was David’s confidence.  He was convinced that he was able to gain victory over the giant.  He had prior experience in overcoming what seemed to be impossible odds – David had singlehandedly protected his flock of sheep by slaying two huge predators, a lion and a bear.  Goliath was perceived as a threat to something David held dear – his heritage, his people chosen by God to exemplify the Grace of God to the world.  David was not thrown off by what some would call reality, he wasn’t deterred by the actual character exhibited by his murmuring and complaining heritage – all he saw was the goal.  His goal was to protect and defend the honor of something that really mattered to him.

Size does matter when the numbers on the scale decrease, there should be an increase in our confidence level.  It has been said, the people see, but they have no vision.   The whole process of weight loss is perceived as a giant task – sometimes, an insurmountable mountain, a Goliath.  What am I saying? That the size of my vision (of a more positive self image) has got to exceed the inbred, but  faulty picture of myself as a FAT person, undisciplined and given over to gluttony.  Without a vision, the people perish – their confidence perishes.  With a vision – the people thrive, successful in their weight loss, happy in the smaller sized clothing, ecstatic when undergarments become so loose that they threaten to escape.  Yes, size does matter – the size of my positive self image.  I’m building a vision in my head of a perfectly sized woman, who looks neatly dressed,  HAPPY and confident in the skin that she’s in.

We have choices and we have options.  The attitude that we choose to adapt ( or is it adopt?) makes all the difference in the world as to how hard or manageable the journey.  There may be a situation where the journey is easy, however, I have not had the privilege of experiencing this.  What I have learned is to be aware of my focus. In this instance,  the purpose or focus for this blog is to complete the journey, knowing that I will need a lot of support from family, friends and anyone with a positive thought. I am sloooowly making my way up the rough side of the mountain.  On the other side of the mountain may be even rougher. However, no way am I going to allow the joy of having come this way by grace – be overshadowed by “possible” potholes on the way down the other side of the mountain. My overall goal is to lose 100 lbs. I am on my way. I am in good health. Nothing (new) hurts. His Grace is sufficient for today.